


So This Is Goodbye

by CardigansAndHoodies



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Dark Side, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Mess, Author is not good at writing songs, Breaking Up & Making Up, Crying, Dancing and Singing, Dark Sides, Deceit disguised as Virgil and Patton, Depressed patton, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone Needs A Hug, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hostage Situations, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Imprisonment, Kidnapping, Lies, Logan is in love with Roman, Logince in later chapters, M/M, Manipulative Deceit Sanders, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, More tags to be added!, Multi, Past Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Physical Abuse, Remus being Remus, Remus is a little shit, Remus singing, Scars, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, Virgil singing, What Have I Done, lying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-05-13 17:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardigansAndHoodies/pseuds/CardigansAndHoodies
Summary: What if you thought your whole relationship was based on lies? What if not everything you believed of your one true love... was true?Patton has just found out that 'Virgil' is not all as he seems. That his love was nothing but a means to an end. That his 'I love you's' were never real, never meant anything... Too many lies have pushed Patton away from the Anxious trait, his heart too broken to be repaired by any amount of glue and tape.Virgil, on the other hand... is not how he once was... he would never lie to someone he loved, would he? Never!But he doesn't know that... he doesn't know the heart break Patton is going through.Because, after all -Trusssst is just a word...





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“I know you probably don’t want to hear what I have to say, and you probably hate me… But -”_

 

_“Guh-go away, Vuh-V-Virgil…”  Was all that came from the other side of the door, nothing but utter broken, and cracked pieces of a once happy and peppy voice. Words that Virgil never thought he would hear the person he had once loved say. Words that crushed his very soul, darkening it just a little more._

 

_“Patton, please… let me in…”_

 

_Deathly silent, inaudible to even the best of hearing ears. “Le-leave me alone please…” Was Patton’s weary and pain filled voice, sore and hoarse from crying tears of absolute heartbreak._

 

_“I am so sorry.” Tears began welling up in Virgil’s eyes, one escaping down his cheek and smearing his eye shadow. One hand resting against the door, while the other brushed back the bangs that had fallen into his face. He wasn’t expecting an answer. He never expected to be forgiven either. But what he did expect… was silence, and that’s exactly what he got._

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
_Patton couldn’t believe how stupid he had been, how naïve. Dragging the covers up and hiding his head, Patton let out another couple of strained sobs, each one more painful than the last. Each one more heart-breaking._

 

_Breath hitching. Heart thwacking against his chest like a ball getting kicked into a wall. Eyes bleeding and blurred with tears. Lungs like balloons that have started to deflate with the labour of his breathing._

 

_His gasping._

 

_His screaming._

 

_It wasn’t fair._

 

_It wasn’t fair that his heart was loving someone who didn’t feel the same way. That each ‘I love you’ was in vain. That each ‘I love you too,’ was nothing but lies._

 

_Nothing but lies!_

 

_And_ _Patton believed every single one of them.  
_

 

_Every single time…_

 

 

* * *

 

  
_“So this is goodbye then?” Virgil’s lips pursed, hand still resting against Patton’s door, waiting for some kind of response. “You don’t have to say anything, I’ll understand if you never want to see me again. I won’t blame you, Patton.” His eyes gleamed with tears ready to fall._

 

_Virgil moved to rest his forehead against the base of the door, forcing himself to brace himself for anything that came from Patton’s lips._

 

_Anything._

 

_Even whimpers._

 

_“Yuh-y-you l-lied to muh-m-me…” Patton’s voice was nothing but shattered words, barely audible to anyone who wasn’t trying to listen in. “Ev-every time!”_

 

_“I did…”_

 

_“Wh-why?”_

 

_Virgil waited a long beat, head still resting easily against the door. “It’s what I do… I destroy things, break things…” He could hear shuffling from the other side, anticipating to be greeted by Patton… But he wasn’t._

 

_“I b-believed you, V-Virgil… every w-word. Every LIE!”_

 

_“I’m always the bad guy…” Virgil let out a sigh filled with nothing but regret. "That’s all I’m ever good for, Pat. That’s all I’ll ever be.”_

 

 

* * *

 

_Patton pulled his pillow closer to his chest, like a child holding their teddy bear. Sobs racked his body, tears stained his face only to be washed away by more._

 

_“W-was I not good enough? Am I n-not… not pretty enough?” The older trait bit at his lips, salty tears collecting at his chin before dripping onto his hands. Patton had always been self-conscious about himself. About his body. About the way that he looked. He was nothing compared to Roman or Logan. Virgil was way too out of his league, but yet the other had the audacity to play with his heart and crush it into tiny pieces._

 

_Memories of Virgil calling him beautiful and kissing all of his scars, every single one of them before they went to sleep. And Patton would do the same for Virgil. He would do anything and everything for Virgil…_

 

_If Virgil had asked for it, Patton would have given him his last breath of air. His last cookie…  
And even his heart… which had already been given and then thrown back in his face. _

 

_“I… I thought you l-loved me…”_

 

_“I never did…” As those words left Virgil’s lips he heard the whimpering and the sobbing grow louder, but they didn’t break his heart._

 

_He didn’t feel anything._

 

_Mouth quirking up at the corners, eyes gleaming with amusement, as he wiped away crocodile tears._

 

_“I’m sorry, Patton…”_

 

_Virgil sank down into nothing but darkness, rising up in a place just as dark. It was as if the light had never existed in this place._

 

_The smirk was still in place, something was amiss. The anxious trait tread deeper into the abyss of gloom, never stopping for anything… until he reached a door._

 

_A door, the only drop of colour in this whole place was this door._

_  
This purple door. _

_  
Adorned with a small thunder cloud and glitter._

 

_One of Virgil’s eyes gleamed gold, split in the middle by a black vertical pupil… A yellow gloved hand stretched out to push down the handle, breezing open the door._

 

_The room was inky black, decorated with webs from spiders and dust from lack of living in the space within. But if you looked a little further, a little deeper._

 

_A person._

 

_A man sat not far from the window, which looked out into the light at the other end of the MindScape. Stuck in place by the chains locked around his ankles, shackled up to the wall so he couldn’t move far. Their head shooting up to see their intruder, bangs covering his eyes heavily lined with dark, purple bruises...._

 

_“Hello, Virgil.”_


	2. Where you belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Yes, this is another chapter, hehe. Thank you for the kudos and comments, you guys are awesome!

* * *

 

 

Deceit ambled further into the room, which held his unwilling captive, his snake eye the only thing Virgil could distinguish due to the lack of light in the room. The smaller male tried his best to shuffle away, the chains around his ankles preventing a comfortable sort of movement... or any for that matter. Whimpers and yelps left chapped and dry lips, only to be dampened by the tears he would shed. 

 

"Now, now Virgil, you're only causing harm to yourself." Deceit's voice poured from his lips as nothing but a whisper, soft and gentle, but still managing to hurt Virgil's ears. Whispers were always bad... Virgil had learned that the hard way. Deceit would never raise his voice, ever. And that to Virgil... was the scariest thing imaginable. 

 

He stopped. 

 

The Anxious trait ceased his struggling and he stopped. 

 

Moving. 

Breathing.

Blinking. 

 

 It was as if he was a deer caught in the headlights of an on coming collision. 

 

Or in this case... 

 

Caught in the light of a snake eye, staring deep with in his broken, scarred soul. 

 

"Good." A smirk pulled at the corners of the Deceitful trait's lips. "Wouldn't want Rage teaching you a lesson, now would we?" Virgil gave a meek shake of his head, bangs falling into his eyes which were beginning to brim with tears. 

 

That's what he would do. It's what he always did. Send in someone else to do his dirty work. Despite the fact Deceit wore gloves, he never dared taint them with the blood of his victims. No. He'd rather someone else have a conscience full of guilt. 

 

"That's ~~not~~ what I thought." Another smirk, another whisper, another pit of dread crawling deeper into Virgil's stomach. Deceit took a step closer, cape whooshing as he whacked it away with his hand before crouching down to the Anxious trait cowering in front of him. One of his gloved hands cold and sickly as it came down to caress against Virgil's cheek, stopping to cup his chin. "Such an (pretty) ugly face. (Beautiful) Hideous." Virgil squirmed until the others hand slipped away. "Such a shame Patton (never) wants to see it again..." 

 

Virgil's head whipped up at his lovers name, eyes wider than before. "P-Patton?" Deceit's cackle shook through Virgil's bones, forcing him further into his corner. 

 

"(Yes) No... He's ~~not~~ broken ~~at all~~... not even a little bit. It's ~~not~~ your fault, Virgil. He loves (hates) you..."

 

Virgil's heart almost collapsed against his chest, pulse dropping with each word that left Deceit's scale coated lips. 

 

"It's for the (best) worst." Deceit rose from his crouched position, giving Virgil a light pat on the head. "You're back where you ~~don't~~ belong."  

 

 


	3. What you're worth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ah, just a little (very) short chapter here... enjoy? Idk... It's pretty crappy (May edit later)   
> Sorry it's so short, the next one will be longer!

 

* * *

 

 

Patton didn't want to live anymore. Everything in his life was ruined. Everything! And all because of the lies that had been told for so long. All because the trust he had for one person... was gone, just like that. Was his love worth anything? Was _he_ worth anything? 

 

Tears trickled down Patton's already blotchy cheeks, staining them with a trail of salty water. Why did Virgil have to lie to him? Why did Virgil have to play with him like some toy he found? Was that all he was to him? Had Virgil just been using him all of this time? 

 

A flinch rushed through the Moral trait as soon as there was a small thud on his door. "Patton?" It was Logan, voice a little softer than usual. Wiping quickly at his eyes, adjusting his glasses, and running a hand through his dishevelled hair, Patton plastered on his happy face... Fake smile, everything is fine. 

 

"Y-yeah, Lo?" Patton sighed out, cursing his voice for giving him away like it always did when he had been crying. 

 

"I heard shouting earlier... I just wanted to make sure you're alright." There was a small silence before Logan added, "May I come in?" 

 

Patton didn't say anything. His lips clamped closed to try and suppress the whimpers trying to escape his burning throat. "I-I'm fine... just go, Logan." It was nothing but a whisper, forced out unwillingly. "Pl-please." 

 

* * *

 

Virgil lay huddled against the corner of his cell of a room. It wasn't his bedroom anymore... it was darker, damper, and duller than it had ever been. A silent shudder left him, limbs tangled in chains that restricted his movements more than they did before. Deceit had made sure he wouldn't leave. 

 

"I'm sorry..." He whispered to himself, eyes trailing up to see the last light go out in the light sides house... Patton's light. 

 

Virgil had been foolish. 

 

Virgil had been selfish. 

 

But most of all - Virgil wasn't Virgil.


	4. What once was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  Heellooo my little beans, weclome to another chapter! Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Disclaimer - I don't own Sanders Sides or any of the characters - They are owned by the lovely Thomas Sanders - 
> 
> The only character I own is my Oc - 

* * *

 

 

_"Patton? Where are you leading me?" Virgil let out a chuckle as warm hands gently covered his eyes, a body pressing against his own as if to guide him around in the dark. He could feel the Moral sides' breath tickle the back of his neck, and he smiled._

 

_"It's a surprise, Kiddo." Patton giggled and continued to steer Virgil in the direction he wanted, trying his best not to bump them into things._

 

_"You know how surprises make me anxious... where are we going?" Virgil asked, hands beginning to grow sweaty and throat feeling as if he had been eating nothing but salt. The Anxious trait heard another few giggles come from his love along with the warmth of his breath._

 

_"Couple more steps and we're there..." After a few moments of shuffling, Patton pushed open the door with his foot and lead Virgil through. "We're here! I'm going to take my hands away now, okay?" Virgil nodded and felt the light pressure leave from his sockets, fluttering open his eyes._

 

_"Patton... wha-"_

 

_"Do you like it?" The older trait bit at his lips, a nervous yet excited glint in his eyes as he watched the others reaction. "We all took part to try and make it as good as your last one... you know... since..." Patton trailed off completely, eyes now focusing on his feet._

 

_Virgil couldn't comprehend what Patton was saying, mind too focused on the sight in front of him. His lips broke into a coy smile as his eyes landed on the bed which was adorned with a bat covered duvet, along with deep purple pillow cases. The window hidden by spider-webbed curtains, making the room look even darker than it should. The walls painted a rainbow of purples and violets, making it look a lot bigger than the room he... his old room... Virgil pushed down that thought and continued glancing around the room until his gaze finally landed on Patton._

 

_"Do I like it?" Virgil asked, eyes wide and filled with awe._

 

_Patton glanced up, worried, shuffling from foot to foot. "Do you?" His voice came out as nothing but a whisper._

 

_"Pat, I love it!" Patton was suddenly engulfed into a tight hug, squeaking out in surprise. The top of Virgil's head only just manged to reach Patton's shoulders as they continued hugging._

 

_"I'm glad," he giggled out, and softly placed a kiss on the Anxious trait's forehead, which caused Virgil to slowly pull away from the hug to look at him, a blush on his cheeks._

 

_"D-did you just..."_

 

_"I... I think I did..." Patton let his arms slip from Virgil's waist, quickly glancing away. "Sorry..." By this time, Patton's face was hotter than the Sun, and redder than Mars._

 

_Virgil shook his head, shifting slightly. "No..." He carefully took Patton's hand to grab his attention. "It's alright... just... maybe ask next time?" Virgil dropped Patton's hand so he could hide his own with the sleeves of his hoodie._

 

_Patton nodded, no longer looking dejected. "Will do, Kiddo! Enjoy your room." He smiled, and as he was about to leave he felt a small tug at the bottom of his shirt. He glanced around to see Virgil blushing darkly. "Everything alright?"_

 

_"I'm waiting for you to ask..."_

 

* * *

 

It was as if the room had gotten colder in the matter of a few seconds. The whole atmosphere was deader than it had been since Virgil was thrown back into his old room. His prison. It wasn't how it used to be. It's different now, darker. Sadder. Lonelier.  

 

Surely someone would have notice he was gone... right?

 

Someone?

 

Anyone?

 

Logan?

 

Roman?

 

Thomas?

 

"P-Patton?" He sniffled out, tears smudging away the eye-shadow under his eyes, already stained with purple bags from lack of sleep. Something heavy hit Virgil right in the heart, like a pit burying deep with in him. A small seed of doubt, soon to slowly grow into a weed of - he didn't want to think of that... not him.

 

 _"He can't hear you."_ A voice floated around the room, not soft enough for it to sound comforting, but soft enough for it to be forebordingly creepy. 

 

Too late.  

 

 _"Patton doesn't even care that you are gone."_ The voice continued. _"In fact, he doesn't even know that you're missing."_ An eerie chuckle came from the corner, body hidden by the darkness, which engulfed most of the room. _"How sad is that, hmm?"_

 

"L-leave me alone," Virgil's quiet voice trembled as he buried himself against the wall, hiding in his hoodie. The chains clunking as he tried his best to pull his shaking legs close to his chest. 

 

 _"Now you know I can't do that, Virgil."_ The figure took a small step out of the shadows, smirk on thin, black painted lips. 

 

"Sorrell, please." Virgil shuffled further into the corner, tears seeping from his eyes. "Not today." 

 

 _"You know that's not how I work."_ Sorrell grew closer, shadows seeming to follow him from behind. _"I'm staying until I'm not needed... and I can see that I'm going to be here for a while."_ Sorrel smirked once more, reaching out of the darkness to graze Virgil's cheek with his quill covered hand. This caused a whimper to crawl up from the small trait's throat, blood oozing from the tiny pricks at the flesh of his cheeks.  _"Requests of Deceit."_


	5. Old Friend

 

 _"_ _Virgil?"_ Sorrell's voice was softer than before, calmer and less harsh than it had been in a long time. " _You know we're only trying to protect you. You know that, right?"_ The Anxious trait let his eyes trail up and over to the other male, pleading. _"Just like old times. The gang back together... like he wanted..."_ The Dark side trailed off and began staring down at the cowering disorder in front of him.

 

Brown eyes met glowing orange ones, and Virgil found himself trying to shuffle away only to be pulled back by the chains. Whimpers escaped from his trembling lips as he stared at Sorrell with a pleading gaze. "I-I just want to go h-home..." Virgil's voice wavered only slightly above a whisper, eyes forced away by the sombre expression on the others face. 

 

 _"You're in our world now, Virgil. You're already home."_ Sorrell crouched down, taking Virgil's chin in his palm. _"You wouldn't want to be saying something like that when Deceit is around... you know how he can be, don't you."_ He smirked, trailing his finger along the small blood streaks. _"Besides, we're your friends after all, we made you who you are."_

 

"I am n-not a bad guy!" Virgil spat out, jaw clenching with a mixture of fear and aggression. The bags that adorn his under eyes becoming darker, more ashy as they spread farther down his cheeks. 

 

Sorrell stood and took in the 'threatening' appearance of Virgil, and smirked. _"Keep telling yourself that... I'm sure Thomas would beg to differ, I mean, once he finds out who you truly are he and the others won't want anything to do with you."_ Before the younger trait could retort, the other sank back into the darkness at the corner of the room, letting out a cruel chuckle as he left. 

 

Virgil allowed his bangs to obstruct his vision of the darkness that filled his room. The pit of dread in his stomach had grown twice the size it had been earlier. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. He wished he could see Patton one last time. He so desperately wanted give Patton the biggest hug in the world, but he couldn't. Virgil glanced down at the chains which he was bound in, sniffling. 

 

And he probably never would again. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hallowed halls of darkness filled Patton’s heart with a sense of loneliness. It had been like this since he found out how Virgil really felt about him. He was empty, dark and lonely. Almost as if each and everyone had left him on his own to grieve his loss. His loss that wasn’t dead, but in fact still living and possibly loving another. Why else would Virgil lie about his feelings? Why else would the person he loved change they way he felt about him?

 

Patton couldn’t bare to sleep in the same bed they had once shared together, never again. His heart and mind couldn’t take it any longer. The thought of not being good enough to spend the rest of his life with someone he had loved to the moon and back again. 

 

It had all been for nothing. 

 

Love. 

 

Life, and even thought that he could be enough. 

 

That he _was_ enough. 

 

He had fallen too hard in love and couldn’t get back up again. 

 

Patton was stupid to think that Virgil loved him too. Loved him the same as he did. 

 

But Patton was wrong, he was always wrong.

 

The Moral trait's thoughts were interrupted by a whoosh drifting in his direction, creating a cold breeze on his face.  _"Hello, Patton"_ Patton glanced up, swallowing hard as he recognised the voice that spoke and stepped in front of him. 

 

"Depression... it's been a while." A strained smile quirked a Patton's lips, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the others in front of him. 

 

 _"Gives us more time to catch up on, and please, you know I don't like it when people call me that, it makes me sound so... Depressing..."_ He said with a smirk, coming down to sit beside Patton on the bed. _"I much prefer my real name, that is, if you still remember it."_

 

"Of course, how could I forget?" Patton offered a thin smile, and began fiddling with his fingers to try and distract himself from the tears starting to form.  "How have you been, Sorrell?" 

 

Sorrell's lips quirked up into a soft smile as he gently placed an arm around the trait's shoulder. _"I should be the one asking you that question."_

 

"I r-really don't think -" 

 

 _"Nonsense. I am simply here to listen, perhaps comfort and then I'll be on my way..."_ Sorrell turned Patton's face toward his own and looked him deeply in the eyes. _"How have you been, old friend?"_


	6. Never wanted this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm so sorry that it has taken me this long to update this, and there is no excuse except that life got in the way - but here is the next, much awaited chapter!

 

* * *

 

 

 

Something wasn’t quite right. Patton hadn’t been out of his room in days, and Virgil only ever popped in now and again when he felt like it. But Logan couldn’t seem to put his finger on it. Thomas was acting completely shameful without his morality, doing whatever he liked despite the consequences of what was right and what was wrong. It was like the host did not care any more. Like he didn't seem bothered by the way he acted in certain situations. There had been a few times Thomas had stolen something while walking out of a shop, crossed the road without looking, lying to Joan and Talyn about why he couldn't make time for them. It was completely unlike the host - unlike Thomas to do such things as these. In those exact situations would be where Patton and Virgil would coincide the Morality and Anxiety, which Thomas was supposed to feel with all of those affairs... but they didn't. Not one of the two appeared to steer Thomas in the right direction. Which was why Logan knew something wasn't quite right. 

 

 Adjusting his tie, then his glasses, Logan sauntered his way down to knock on the Moral sides bedroom door. “Patton, we need to have a very important conversation about Thomas’ moral compass…” Logan began, awaiting an answer that never seemed to come from the other side of the door. “Thomas is acting completely out of the ordinary, and I’m concerned it has something to do with -” 

 

 “Leave me alone, Logan!” Patton’s voice came out all hoarse and scratchy from lack of use and too much crying. The Logical trait, often averse to showing and feeling emotion, could tell Patton was having a rather hard time trying to hide it them, clearly to no avail. The crease in Logan's brow tightened into a knotted frown at the unusual behaviour of the emotional trait. Perhaps things were a lot worse than Logan had expected. His calculations were always... 'on point', so to speak, so why on Earth was Patton lying about his feelings - Logan's features melted back into their sombre expression at the sudden realisation. 

 

 “At least let me see that you are all right…” It was a stupid thing to say, Logan knew that, but somehow he needed to be sure that Patton was still able to function at least in some way. He knew as much as anyone else, that whenever Patton was ‘down in the dumps’ nothing good could come from it. Especially after what happened last time, but none of them talk about that... 

 

 "I'm fine, Logan... please..." It was nothing but a whimper and this caused Logan great distress. The Happy Pappy Patton was gone and replaced with the total opposite. The Sad, Stressed and... Depressed Patton taking his place. 

 

"I can assure you, Patton, I'm going to get to the bottom of this," Logan mumbled, allowing himself to give his tie a quick adjustment before leaving back down the hallway, heading 'straight' to Roman's room. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Patton buried his head against Sorrell's chest, tears dribbling from his eyes and over his freckled scattered cheeks. There was no possible way for Patton to be fine at a time like this. At a time when Depression took over him - befriending him. It was at this time when Patton felt utterly helpless, numb and drained off all happiness. After finding out the only person he had ever loved had lied to him. After Virgil lied to his face about loving him. After Patton had believed every word - every 'I love you'... everything was nothing now. It didn't matter anymore. None of it did. Not even Patton. The Moral trait glanced up at the dark side beside him, brown eyes clouded with unshead tears only for Sorrell to wipe them away. 

 

 " _I am here, good friend."_ Depression smiled and allowed Patton to once again bury his head against his chest. _"You needn't worry about a thing..."_ Sorrell pulled the Moral trait close, resting his cheek on top of the others head of fluffy curls. _"Perhaps... it's best the others don't know..."_

 

Patton sniffled softly and pawed at his eyes like a child when tired, before nodding and drifting off into sleep. 

 

" _Sleep,"_ Sorrell smirked as he watched Patton slowly descend into a peaceful slumber. " _Is all you will be doing for a while..."_ he muttered while glancing at the door, hearing footsteps walking away in the opposite direction. Everything was going exactly to plan. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Have you ever imagined Patton dying?" A voice suddenly forced Virgil to look up in panic. "Now wouldn't that be fun?!" His weary eyes landing on a cloud of stink coloured green. Virgil had every intention to lash out, scramble toward the figure, throwing insults until he couldn't breathe, growling and hissing like a deranged animal... but his body had other plans. His mind betrayed him, and instead of doing all of those things, Virgil whimpered and huddled himself up against the stone cold wall, shackles clinking with each and every tiny movement. 

 

"Spewing until he can't breathe, or Pooping himself until his bowels explode, you know, the creative type of death - not that boring gore, blood and guts. That's so not... well, me!" A manic set of laughter pierced through the room, leaving Virgil to try and cover his ears with cuffed hands. 

 

"L-leave Patton out of this!" 

 

"Aww, but it's so much fun thinking about him suffering, don't you think, Virgy?" The figured smirked, emerging from the shadows made of green gloom. "Haven't you missed this? Us? The team all back together? I have, it's been really lonely without you, Virgil -" he trailed off, seeping down to sit next to the other trembling side. The man made of mismatched black and green crossed his ridiculously long legs. 

 

Virgil tried his best to scuttle away only to get stopped by the corner of the wall, as if it were closing in on him, ready to squish him into nothing. "Leave me alone, Remus..." 

 

"But isn't this what you wanted? To be a Dark side again? I always loved the way you made Thomas anxious until he threw up with fear!" Remus did a little wiggle of excitement. "It can be like that again, you, me, Deceit! We can be -" 

 

"No! No we can't!" Virgil, finding some courage, snapped back angrily, though fear still lingering in his voice. "It can never be like that again, Remus! To be a Dark side again -" Virgil shook his head, eyes watering until tears began dribbling over his cheeks, sobs surging through his body. "I-I never w-wanted this!"

 

 


	7. To be a Dark Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would like to apologise for the awful, awful attempt at writing a song/poemy thingy! Oh gosh, nuu - it's so cringey! Just skip past it XD It sounded good when I sang it out loud... but on this it's terrible! 
> 
> Remus - Bold 
> 
> Virgil - Italics 

 

* * *

 

Remus was taken aback by the way Virgil reacted. He thought he would have been happy to be back in the darkness of the Mindscape, where they had originated from. Clearly Virgil had forgotten how much fun it was to be here. Here with him and the others. Virgil didn't need the Light Sides! No one did, not even Thomas! And he was going to show him! Remus was going to show the smaller trait what he had been missing out on all those days he had wasted with the other Sides. 

 

He was going to show Virgil what it was like to be a Dark Side again... and maybe this time, Virgil would want to stay for good. Yes, that's what he would do! But... how? "Ahah! Come now, my little emo Elmo, we are going to have a little creative sing song, would you like that?"

 

Virgil shuffled further into the shadows, frown deepening as Remus flashed a smile wider than the Cheshire cat's from Alice in Wonderland. "No..." he mumbled, earning at manic giggle from the other Side. 

 

"Yay! Now get ready..." Remus smirked, eyes glowing a bogey green as his smile grew even wider. "Because here comes the fun part!" The dark version of Creativity waved his arms around and allured a cloud of smoke to emit from his fingers. Devilish smirk widening, the makeup under his eyes seeming to dim a few shades darker. His moustache twitched up, either from excitement or the thrill of about to perform in front of his one audience member. Deep down he knew that Virgil was his biggest fan!  

 

 

**"You and me are like chalk and cheese, (** I heard mouldy cheese doesn't taste that bad! **)**

**don't go together but stay at ease,**

**in the kind of ways that make us... Dark Sides..."**

 

 

Remus gave a twirl, giggles of an absolute lunatic crawling up his throat and filling the room up with their echos. The guy was a loon. A crazy person. A freak of nature that not even Mother Nature would want roaming around the Earth! Virgil couldn't help watching in astonishment as the other danced around like a dork, frolicking around from corner to corner. 

 

 

_"I don't want to be a Dark Side,_

_Thomas accepted me as one of them,_

_Anxiety is all I'm for,_

_please just let me go back home."_

 

 

Virgil curled himself up against the wall, eyes closed as they leaked tears and smeared the eye shadow down his cheeks, collecting at the bottom of his chin. He sniffled. He didn't want to be here any longer. Patton was bound to be missing him, right? The others were probably wondering where he had gotten to... hadn't they? He knew Logan would figure it out soon enough. Virgil just hoped there was enough for Logan to pick up on - that he wasn't there and hadn't been for a long while. The Anxious Side wanted to go back home. 

 

 

**You followed the light but that wasn't quite right, (** If that was your Heaven then this is your Hell! **)**

**leaving us to wallow and wail with contrite, (** Mainly Deceit though! **)**

**Deceit forcing Thomas to wish he were wrong,**

**but that's not the reason I'm singing this song.**

 

 

Remus let out a strangled cackle, perhaps holding in a few sobs of his own, before belting out a new verse. He wiggled his fingers in front of Virgil's face, crouching down to slap away the tears from his cheeks causing the other to whimper out in pain. Why was Virgil crying?! This was supposed to be a fun and amazing experience, not a wallow in self-pity party!

 

 

_Tell me what did wrong, to make you want me to come back._

_I said I didn't want stay, that's why I went away_

_and I now here all trapped, sometimes all alone,_

_can't you just take me back?!_

 

 

Virgil's breathing came out in heavy gasps as panic began setting in. Remus wasn't listening to his plea's. He didn't care! No one did! His wrists against his shackles chafed and rubbed against the skin until it burned. The trait shuffled away from Remus' touch, lifting a shaking hand to rest against the sting of his stained red cheek. He could already feel it swelling up. 

 

 

**Welcome home, Virgil.**

**Paranoia is what you are and always have been,**

**now you're back with just as much fight,**

**to help us make the Light Sides pay for what they say**

**about the Dark Sides!**

 

 

The Dark Side jumped up, spinning his arms out, giving another obnoxious chuckle. This was going to work! How could it not?! There was so much Remus had planned for the arrival of Virgil, the best part was yet to be revealed. Perhaps Deceit could help him with that? He was going to make sure Virgil wanted to stay with them again. Be a Dark Side again! Allow himself to be free of restrictions, well... at least when the chains were removed, though that was still to be agreed on. 

 

 

_I hate it here! It's even worse than was before but now I'm here for sure... in the Dark Sides. Here, I'm still here and now I can't leave without your say... so now I'm here... forever more, I'll stay here..._

 

 

This was it... how could he ever escape the Dark Sides? How could he ever escape himself? His past? Virgil had never actually stopped being Paranoia, he was just toned down a few notches... In what world did he ever expect to be accepted as anything other than a Dark Side? The Anxious trait had been gone longer than he'd wanted - being part of the Light Sides seemed nothing more than a dream now; a distant memory. Did it really happen? Would Patton wait for him? Would Logan mind? Would Roman care? Would Thomas... understand? 

 

 

**We've missed you and wished you were here,**

**now that you are we won't need to live in fear - (** And Thomas won't get diarrhoea! **)**

**VIRGIL, what do ya say?!**

 

Remus stretched out his hand in offering, a smirk creepily resting on his lips, as he watched the other with wide curious, almost protruding, eyes. "Well? Just think about all of the horrid things we could do! You, me, Deceit! Haven't you missed us, Virgil? Don't you want to be free from judging eyes? From Logan's scoldings. From Roman's overly dramatics. From... Patton? The way he babies you with stupid, childish pet names. The way he ruins your angsty aesthetic..."

 

Virgil wiped at his eyes, shackles clanking softly, as he processed Remus' words. Maybe this was only way out? Agree with him... stay here, leave later. He glanced up at the eager expression on the others face, grimace resting on his own, as he stretched out a shaky hand. "O-okay..." his voice quivered, blinking back tears, Virgil took Remus' hand.


End file.
